I am talking with a friend about my career transition of a few years ago. “What are you doing now?” she asks. “I am a resilience trainer.” And then the inevitable question: “What is resilience?” So I explain.

Resilience is the indomitable human resource that carries us through a difficulty or crisis.

• We observe it in the little girl born with heart defects requiring multiple surgeries, who charms the hearts of all who care for her.
• We laud it in the athlete who overcomes seemingly career-ending injuries to compete another day.
• And we admire it in the single mom who prevails over abandonment and financial limitations to raise her children to become positive and productive adults.

Resilience is essential to success in today’s pressure-packed marketplace. Nearly two-thirds (60%) of U.S. workers are stressed all or most of the time at work, according to a recent Udemy survey. Required job skills change about every three months, resulting in constant pressure to adapt.

We all have some resilience or we would not be here today. And we can all grow more. We develop resilience when we learn key concepts, rely on available resources, and apply new skills.

You can’t go back, but you can move on.

The word resilience means to “bounce back.” We think of a rubber band, stretched, and then snapping back to its original state. But that is not the way resilience works. As anyone knows who has been through a significant loss, we cannot go back to the way things were, try as we might. We may never “get over” huge losses, but we can move on. And, more importantly, we can gain a lot of good from the experience.

Resilience is transformative rather than restorative, as described by Ben Lovell, an internal medicine physician and lecturer: “Rather than a process of returning to one’s original resting state following a period of stress, like a spring or a sheet of metal, resilience develops into a new shape, a better shape. Resilience is adaptation.”

Transformative resilience is demonstrated in the successful entrepreneur who said, “Losing my job was just what I needed to finally start my business.” A resilient cancer patient remarked, “Cancer is the best thing that ever happened to me. A threat to my life made me think about what is really important. I changed my life to fit my priorities. I began to really live.” Events outside of our control can make it impossible for us to “bounce back” to the life we once knew. But we can move on to a better life.

Resilience is the ability to adapt and thrive in the midst of stress and adversity. We cannot avoid all difficulties or the impact they have on us. But we can always choose our response. If we respond with a sense of fatalism and victimization, we limit our transformation. But if we maintain a sense of optimism, stay connected to supportive people, and utilize the power we have to affect the situation, we can thrive and grow more resilient.

Resilience is not complicated. Ann Masten, professor in the Institute of Child Development at the University of Minnesota, defines resilience as “ordinary magic.” She states, “The great surprise of resilience research is the ordinariness of the phenomena.” We implement everyday processes that are available to each of us which result in personal power to thrive in stress.

Resilience in Action

Workers report that the No. 1 form of stress relief they use today is company-provided training, according to the Udemy survey. I train business, education, and healthcare professionals onsite to manage stress. Here are five ordinary responses to adversity that build powerful resilience and bring personal transformation.

1. Calm yourself when stressed. Remaining too long in the fight-flight-freeze reaction to stress damages our health and undermines our resilience. Deep breathing and vigorous exercise are the fastest and the most effective ways to calm ourselves and get us out of the stress response.

2. Practice gratitude. Grateful people are happier people, regardless of their circumstances. And happiness grows resilience. Each day express gratitude for at least three things.

3. Cultivate and access a supportive social network. One of the greatest predictors of overcoming adversity is whether an individual has a supportive relationship with a caring person. We are not made to suffer alone.

4. Maintain a positive perspective. We should not ignore the negative in our lives, but we can learn to identify the unexpected good that can grow out of the most tragic circumstances.

5. Understand that your problems do not define you. While some losses are permanent, suffering is not. We will feel better, and we will have better days. We are more than the problems we face.

So, what is my current business? I now say, “I train professionals to successfully manage stress, avoid burnout, and move on to a better life.” That is resilience. You have some, and you can grow more by learning to adapt and be transformed.

Copyright © 2018 Stephen Chupp. All rights reserved.

Steve Chupp is a Resilience Trainer and Keynote Speaker. He equips business, healthcare, and education professionals to successfully manage stress and avoid burnout. For more ideas and resources to build resilience and manage stress, go to www.stevechupp.com  Or contact at Steve at steve@stevechupp.com.